I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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