Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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