not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
