Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
