If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
