hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Farmville is her only friend.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
