you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
