remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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