if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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