Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
