i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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