You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
His hands were made for my vagina.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
