How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
