If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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