What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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