ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
