I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
