Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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