you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
