you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
