Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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