I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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