I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
