Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
