Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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