i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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