dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm too high and old for this...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
