We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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