i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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