So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
