wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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