so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
