i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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