Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
