quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
