whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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