apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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