oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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