nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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