I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
