Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
