he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just found a bag of teeth...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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