I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You don't make any sense
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