Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
