Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
