i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
