I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she looked like the before picture.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
