As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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