I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
