No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
