Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
