I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
