Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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