every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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