i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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